I guess we are all being quite reflective now a days. Our baby boy, our smile, our laughter, our KEEPER just graduated high school. Things seem so surreal and I guess won’t really hit us until we drop him off to stay in the dorms come August. But for now, he is with us working the most fun jobs on the beach and surfing for the summer, and we are all together, back in our happy place in Florida. You see, being back here has really sparked much reflection.
Just days ago Eric had a dream about our car accident that will be five years ago this summer. He shared a blog post that many may not have even read, containing the details of that horrific night. It threw some people off guard-commenting, sending texts with kinds words about how they hadn’t known and how they were so glad we came through all of that. If I’m being honest, it threw me off too. I am back breathing the sea salt air and soaking in all the good the past few months has brought, especially filling my heart with pride for all my kids, specifically our graduate has accomplished. The last thing on my mind was the past, the trauma, the wreck. However, isn’t that just like our God when we are moving through life like we did something ourselves to get to such a happy place that He must gently (sometimes abruptly) remind us that it is He who provides, who gives, and takes away… all so that we may see, know, and glorify Him.
That has been our experience full circle. Days ago upon resharing my blog post “The Wreck” (read it here if you have not), that is when I got one of those sweet, small, gentle reminders from God, ya know the kind we all welcome. The ones that make us smile and thank Him, “God winks” some may say. Unfortunately though, I can’t say the same about the reminder we received just months prior. The reminder that what God had given us was not ours to keep, manipulate, and claim as our own thing acquired in our own strength.
You see, the very reason we left our happy place in Florida to begin with was that very car wreck. Long, (very long story that you can actually read all through in past blogs) short, right when I needed to return to work, but was physically and mentally not ready to, God provided a better job for Eric so that I would not have to. This job however forced us to step out in faith and leave where we were comfortable and move to Johnson City, Tennessee. I would have never chosen to go there on my own, in fact, I called it a not so nice name that rhymed with city if you get my drift and remember that I love Jesus, but I cuss a little. I spent the first year hating it and trying to actually just live back in Florida as some of that year brought us a pandemic making it even harder to do life away from what I knew. Sadly that tight grip I had holding on to a place I wasn’t called to be brought much contention in my life affecting my marriage, my health, and even severing many “friendships” I thought were so real and strong back where I was forcing myself to be in Florida. It wasn’t until I embraced that God had put us in JC for a reason and that we honored the model of God first, family second, then everything else, that He really started to bless us more than we could have ever imagined.
Abruptly, about three months ago now, we were put in a position with Eric’s contract job for the DOE coupled with his reserve job for the Air Force, that he must resign from his job in the Johnson City area, go on orders for the Air Force, and again step out in faith believing that God would provide, yet again. After finally embracing this place I never wanted to be in the first place and being in a good position to still go back to Florida (in a healthy way now) with our family for Eric to do his reserve duty there, after being financially stable, and especially after receiving more top notch medical care for my health (don’t worry, I may just have to write another post to tell you about all of that too, as I’m sure you’re dying to know), you can imagine how blind sided with having to leave we were.
A friend shared with me about the life of Elijah right as all of this was happening. Please go read the passage (beginning in 1 Kings Chapter 17) and recognize it for what it is-God full circle calling Elijah to a place he needed to be, giving him exactly what he needed, showing him that it was in fact from Him and not in his own strength, and then propelling Elijah to step out in faith for what was next. As the prophet Elijah stepped onto the scene of Israel where he was called to be, God had sent a drought to dry up everything as He was so displeased with His people. He was sending Elijah to heal and deliver them back to God. Amidst a drought, God provided a river in the desert and even ravens to bring Elijah food. While Elijah sat comfortably for a minute, (I mean couldn’t he just stay and preach to the people from his own personal brook and birds?), God caused that river to dry up too. Elijah went on to step out in faith and see many miracles from God, using him to help heal and deliver people from bondage and suffering. Elijah would have never left that stream if God had not taken it away, he would have sat there comfortably and completely missed out on what all was next.
Wouldn’t you know that this forced move, yet again convinced me that it meant we got to go back to where I WANTED to be…you guessed it, Florida. Wouldn’t you also know though that God has other plans that are not ours and while he is allowing us the time to be here this summer (kind of like that little stream in the desert), it is not where Eric got a new job after his military orders end. You also already know though that I’m not dumb haha and will not make the same mistake twice with holding on to a place I’m not supposed to be, nor negating the provision that God has given us. I will gladly go where He is opening doors and I will honor Him first, my family second, and then trust that everything else will work out, far greater than I could ever ask or think.
Full circle we are reflecting on that move to JC as we have left it, but definitely must back track and look at what “forced” us there in the first place. The wreck is the reason we left “our happy place” in the first place, but my goodness at all we gleaned from being there… so much more than a job opportinity… friendships and experiences that we just can’t make up that we are forever grateful for. Our son, Kieran, specifically, that I just referenced earlier as our high school graduate, loved the area so much so that he has decided to move back to the area without us in the fall to attend East Tennessee State University. Go Bucs! He also found an amazing home church that he has gotten to be a part of helping in the youth and plans to join the worship team upon his return.
I guess I’m learning that my new happy place is right where God wants me to be and that wherever that is, He is always with me, dwelling in my heart and strenghthening me. Being happy is about being full and in order to be full, I must walk in the fullness of God and all that He has for me. May we all reflect, realize, and embrace full circle our God, His great love, and His goodness forever.
I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Ephesians 3:16-19 NIV
