” I don’t know if this will make you feel better or not, but she listened to your victim’s statement in court and showed genuine remorse. I’ve seen a lot of these cases and she seems like one that will learn from this and turn her life around.”
These are the words the district attorney spoke to me in reference to the drunk driver that seemingly wrecked our lives now two years ago today. Two years. Two years and I can’t say that I “feel better” about it all, but I can say, that I can only hope that the wrong that has been done to us, the hard times we’ve walked through, and the pain we’ve endured, can at least be used for good, for a turn around, and as a testimony for others to see that they too can overcome.
Overcomer. I am not sure I am yet to that title, but I know that I have moved on from just surviving to recovering and am well on my way to overcoming and being completely healed. I write today to share my latest experience of recovery in hopes that maybe you or someone you know can be encouraged that there is hope for overcoming. First of all, no matter the circumstance or the struggle, we all have hope to overcome because Jesus paid the ultimate price of giving His life so that we could live through Him. He reminds us of this in John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” The Word also says in speaking of Satan, the enemy, in Revelation 12:11 “And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony…”.
I write these things to say this.
- We can overcome because of Jesus. He sacrificed His life so that we can truly live. He has overcome the world. He died and rose again. He is the spotless Lamb whose blood covers our sins, our circumstances, and our struggles.
- We overcome by the word of our testimonies. God doesn’t cause all things, but He can use all things to work together for our good, especially by sharing our testimony to bring hope of overcoming to others through all that He carries us through. Sharing our own story ultimately leads to healing in our own lives.
So as I move through the stages of recovery to step into being an overcomer, I want to take the time to share my testimony of the things that I’ve been walking through that are propelling me for the things He will have me to walk in.
I haven’t shared in quite some time for many reasons, but mainly because for the past five months I have been really struggling. I thought I was in a good place with my recovery from the car collision and all that it left me with, but in full transparency, once a major life change came our way and my husband had to move up ahead of us to Tennessee to start a new job, I quickly became in a very bad place. My PTSD came back with a vengeance so to speak and left me home alone with our two kids and completely out of control. My fear which led to anxiety, panic, and anger had seemingly taken over. I wasn’t proud of myself or the mother I had become. I was living in constant fear, having frequent episodes of anger that left me in physical pain, even with half of my face numb for a good hour after my anger subsided. I was experiencing nightmares and what I believe to be tormenting from the enemy, trying to get me to doubt who I was, what I’d already worked so hard to move past, and really just all of what was true and real in my life.
But by the grace of God, just like through every other hurtle, He sent me the right relationships and resources of medical providers and friends to suggest just what I needed in my time of struggle. I found a therapist to start the highly recommended trauma therapy called EMDR (eye movement, desensitization, reprocessing). If you’ve read any of my blogs or know me very well at all, you know I am pretty black and white and like to call myself a realist. I am very skeptical to try new things that I especially may not fully understand. EMDR was one of those things, however, I was in a desperate situation and really knew I had to do something, whether I wanted to and understood it or not.
Fast forward to 5 sessions post EMDR and I can’t say enough great things about it. In a nutshell, EMDR helps connect your left and right brain to process trauma that is literally stuck in your subconscious mind. Trauma isn’t meant to happen to us, therefore our minds don’t know how to handle it when it does. It gets stuck in the back of our minds (literally), because we don’t have the capacity to process it on our own. It is there looming over our daily lives and can come out in many ways, in my case being fear, anxiety, panic, and anger. EMDR didn’t take the trauma away, but it lead me through the steps of being able to process and reason with all that has happened to me through this car wreck. I knew that much of my thoughts and fears were irrational, but I felt as if I lacked the ability to move past them. EMDR changed that for me and I can say confidently that I am in such a good place yet again, totally managing my fear, pain, and trauma in healthy ways. I only write this snippet about EMDR to hit the high notes, but I am more than willing and happy to share as much as you care to know should you or someone you know want to ask me more.
I write today to share this part of my testimony, because EMDR therapy has been a pivotal part of my recovery. I write today to remind myself and others that part of overcoming is sharing our testimony. Someone, somewhere most definitely needs to hear what God has brought you through in order to ignite hope in their own lives of getting through their own hard times. As I write, I constantly fight the doubt that no one will read, that no one needs to know my business, and that my story isn’t important. Instead, I write and remind myself that if one person gains hope, courage, or perspective to walk through the struggles of this life, and most importantly if God is glorified in my writing and the sharing of all that He has turned into my good, then I am doing exactly what I am supposed to do. As I close, in one last effort to convince you of the importance of sharing your testimony to help others overcome, I will leave you with way better words than my own, with the Word and the encouragement that we are not only comforted and brought through hard times by the Overcomer Himself, but we are also brought alongside others to help through as well.
“All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us. We have plenty of hard times that come from following the Messiah, but no more so than the good times of his healing comfort—we get a full measure of that, too. “
2 Corinthians 1:4-5 MSG
Rest in that healing comfort today, allow yourself to overcome by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of your testimony. Share your struggles, tell your story, I know I will.
