I’m venturing off the beating path today from the order of our story to talk about love and marriage, all in honor of the wedding anniversary to my only one. Today marks seven years that I married Eric, the one who my soul loves, in an intimate, private (being just the two of us and our amazing cousins/photographers) ceremony in Jamaica.
Y’all have heard it said and very well likely know this for yourselves, but marriage is hard! Love is not all butterflies and rainbows, especially in the face of pain, suffering, tragedy, and sometimes even loss. Love is a choice, a choice to respect and honor one another and by doing so, honoring God.
I said I’m skipping ahead a bit, but as amazing as Eric was and has been for me through all the hardships the car collision brought into our lives, you guys, we. have. struggled. I will embarrassingly admit that we had even gotten into an argument at the soccer game just hours before we were sitting on the side of the highway faced with the shock that our very lives had been threatened. And to beat all, that argument was not even about anything of value or worth, it was about ketchup for goodness sakes!? As silly as that sounds though, isn’t that how it usually goes? 9 times out of 10 we are not arguing about what we are really “arguing” about. We like to stick the face of the enemy on our spouse and especially in our case, refuse to see and hear each other for what they are really saying and feeling, only choosing to believe those lies that the enemy is telling us to believe.
In John chapter 10 Jesus says, “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” This is a verse that I may mention frequently throughout sharing our story, as the Holy Spirit has brought it to my remembrance often to speak life over our circumstances. It is no secret that there is an enemy of our souls at work here on this earth, doing all he can to pull us away from the one true God, our destiny, and our purpose. I am certain that God has taken what the enemy has meant to harm us in this time of pain and turned it around for our good. I will be sharing in the weeks to come how this verse was first revealed and proved to be so true in our circumstances, but it also rang VERY true in our marriage. First, we lived and did not die, God preserved our lives, restored our minds from fear, purposed in our hearts that He had big plans for us, so the enemy had nothing left to go after but our marriage. The added stress of the pain, my inability to do hardly anything for my family or myself (right down to even bathing), caused strife in our home and especially in our marriage.
Once we realized, that we weren’t living that abundant life Jesus came to give us, nor honoring God for all He had given us, mainly because we were not in a place of honoring each other, we made the choice that we must let God turn things around and yet again take what was meant for evil and make good. We went to our wonderful Pastor, and he helped us get back on track, through really identifying one simple way, grace. God gives us grace everyday, irreversible grace that we couldn’t earn nor do we deserve, and in seeing that grace that is greater than ALL of our sin, how can we not extend it to others, especially our spouse? One of our most favorite and effective things that Pastor Rob has us do is step aside in the midst of division and strife and ask God to, “show me, me”. Once you truly look within and not at your spouse, not only does God show you that grace that has covered you, despite your own multitude of sins, He shows you the way He sees you, that you are who He says you are and that you don’t have to look for that in your spouse, or in anything else. You can operate out of grace and live a life that honors Him by honoring each other.
Not that Eric and I now, miraculously have a perfect marriage, but the Bible says that perfect love casts out all fear and I know when we let the love of Christ fill our hearts and minds, His perfect love works in our marriage to make it whole and complete. So today, I first thank God for continuing to work in our marriage and for giving me Eric. I will honor him today for the husband he is and for all he has done, especially in this difficult season we have been walking through. From cooking, to cleaning, to fixing hair, right down to again even bathing me, he has stepped up and chosen to love, honor, and respect me through it all. There remains to be so much uncertainty in our lives, but I am grateful that Eric just keeps refilling that grace tank, and pushing through it, by my side. I love you, Eric. Happy Anniversary, my only one.
