Show Yourself Friendly

Last weekend was connect weekend at our church. It was the weekend that all the small groups were introduced for the fall semester and people were encouraged to join. My favorite phrase that our church uses in this encouragement process is that we are made to “do life in circles, not just in rows”.

God definitely designed us to be in relationships. We were not made to go at it #1 apart from Him, nor #2 without having friends.The Bible says in Proverbs 18:24, “A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Two things worth noting here are, to have a friend, you have to be a friend, and really, to be a true friend and really understand relationships, you must know and follow the example of that friend that sticks closer than a brother-Jesus. I can’t tell you how important it is to find people to connect with, do life in circles, and show yourself friendly. That “show yourself friendly” part is certainly key. We live in a world where we want all the friends, but many of us, even as Christian people, are unwilling to reach out and be a friend, even within our own churches.

One of the best examples of a beautiful, true friendship in the Bible is that of Jonathan and David. Jonathan’s father Saul was king over Israel, yet because of his wickedness, God said He was going to take the throne from him and his family (Jonathan) and give it to David, Jonathan’s best friend. Instead of letting this breed jealousy and rejection of David, Jonathan protected him from being killed by his own father and helped preserve his life, ensuring that David would become king, just as God said. The Bible describes their friendship in I Samuel 21, saying, “the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.” Jonathan is an example of a friend that sticks closer than a brother, a friend that went out of his way, even against his own father and desires to become king himself, to show himself friendly, and be a friend.

Finding friends like this is rare. Being a friend like this is hard, but as believers, as “the church”, this is what we are called to be. These types of friendships are formed when we first love Jesus, and then share His love with others. Paul, as he was writing to the church to encourage them to live by the standards of Christ and not of this world, explained the reason that he wrote was, “that their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, and attaining to all riches of the full assurance of understanding, to the knowledge of the mystery of God, both of the Father and of Christ,” (Colossians‬ ‭2:2)‬. He explained that the church should be “knit together” just as the Bible described Jonathan and David’s friendship as one being “knit together”. Friendship starts through a relationship with Christ and it continues in the church. Understanding friendship means accepting the knowledge of God, understanding the message of Christ, having a relationship with Him first, and then being in relationship with others-with like minded people. I John 4:19 says, “We love because He first loved us.” Apart from loving Christ first, we are unable to love others in the way we were intended to love; unable to be a true friend.

So yes, as it is said, “find your tribe and love them hard”, but first, find and understand the love of God, so that you may show yourself friendly in order to find those friends that will knit their souls to yours, sticking closer than a brother, loving you at all times. I can tell you, I have found those types of friends. I can also tell you that without “those friends”, there is no way I would have made it through this past year of my life. Just this week after being on the phone for hours, as I am still dealing with the aftermath of medical expenses from the car collision, I walked into my church small group on Tuesday night in tears. I walked in to a group of women that have been “those friends” and served as the first responders, so to speak, for every single need and prayer I’ve had through the course of this traumatic journey I’ve been walking through. I was quickly uplifted, encouraged, and even held accountable and challenged as I shared my frustrations, struggles, and pain. We all need friends like these. God has designed us to be in relationships, in true friendship with others. Be a friend, find those friends, and understand that “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.”
‭Proverbs‬ ‭27:17‬