Stillness. Patience. Waiting. None of my strong suits. For some time I have been praying and believing for God to bring forth some of the desires of my heart. I’ve been praying to be able to use the gifts He’s given me in a place that was healthy, life giving, and most of all in a way that brings glory to Him.
Some time last spring, before the car collision in the summer, I got a clear message from God telling me to rest in His promises, to be still, but also be ready and open for something that He has for me. I excitedly shared this message with my husband (who was of course on board) letting him know that I really needed him to be open, because God was going to take me somewhere to do something, likely out of the norm and my realm of comfort. Unfortunately though, also in my excitement, I missed a BIG part of that message which was to be still, and in true “Jana fashion” took things into my own, type A hands, and started trying to search, find, and plan for this “thing” I knew God had for me, only finding myself disappointed with what I had come up with.
Many times in my life, in my need to control and plan, I have often done just this and jumped ahead of God, planned everything all out, and then asked God to bless it. This. Always. Fails. The Bible says in Isaiah 55:8-9 “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts.” God can and will plant seeds of hope, purpose, and calling in our hearts that we cannot even begin to fathom. His ways are always higher and always good. Many times, instead of praying, trusting, and believing with those seeds, which is my part, I instead take matters into my own hands and end up disappointed with the result.
God had clearly been speaking the message from the book of Psalms to be still and know that He is God for some time to me before this car collision. Although I did spend quite some time in a whirlwind of panic, not knowing at all what was going to come of my life-my career, marriage, relationships, mind, or body-this message now never rang so clearly, seemingly to show back up full circle, for such a time as this. It wasn’t until I was completely unable to plan my next steps, both emotionally and physically, that I heard God whisper, I’ve been telling you to be still and let me be God, but now, you physically have got to be still. You don’t have a choice. It wasn’t but a few weeks later from when God woke me up with this truth and pulled me out of the pit of worry knowing I literally couldn’t control or plan out my life with where I was left post car collision, that He also used someone else to speak and confirm this message to me.
As I laid on the table at physical therapy getting MFR (which is one of the best/worst therapy techniques as in crazy painful, but super effective), I looked over at my sweet therapist and saw tears streaming down her face. Not really ready to hear what she had to say, I timidly asked “what’s going on?”. Now, I should preface with that while all of my totally amazing occupational and physical therapists often serve as way more than just therapists meeting my physical needs, as they frequently let me vent and listen to my frustrations through this process, I had not shared this above message of being still with her. She responded to my question with, “I’m not sure why, but as I am pressing on you, all I keep hearing over and over again is BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD.” Y’all. I couldn’t even speak, nor was I ready to even share with her the significance in that word from God that she just confirmed, as I would have been in tears to the point where we wouldn’t have gotten through. I did however, finally understand and receive the message loud and clear! Thanks God, I got it!
How great is God!? How mighty, powerful, and all knowing is He! He knows the plans He has for me. He knows what my future holds. I need only to BE STILL. He speaks to me what I need before I even know I need it, and He can even use other people to confirm the things that He has already told me to be true. I can’t fathom that the God of the universe cares about me so much that He will go above and beyond to make sure that I know this. God knew back in the spring that I needed that message, He knew what would happen with the car collision, and He knows still yet what’s to come. I can’t out plan, work, control, or orchestrate what He has for me. I’d never really been in the place of total trust until I literally had no other choice. And guess what, I haven’t had to run around crazy trying to figure things out, I’ve just had to pray, trust, believe, and be still and He has continued to work all things together for my good, providing exceedingly and abundantly more than I could ever ask or think for me and my family during our time of desperation.
God is God. He is God in your successes, in your joys, in your failures, in your pains, in your sufferings. He is all knowing, never changing. His thoughts are higher. His ways are always good. Let Him be God. Be still and know who He is. The rest of Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!”. God will be exalted high above all. Whether or not you choose to try to outdo Him, plan, control, or figure out what He has for you, He will always be exalted high above all, above you and your plans. Rest in that promise. You don’t have to have it all figured out, take that pressure off yourself and let the God of all grace be God.
