The Wreck

The Wreck

This is my account of the traumatic experience of being struck in a head-on collision by a drunk driver that literally wrecked our lives. As I share in this post mostly just the facts, be encouraged that while this is the account of our real and raw experience, Jesus and His grace was there amid it all and has continued to be there to carry us through. I’ll be sharing many of those God moments in posts to come. But first, let me share the wreck.

Currently stationed in Florida, my husband Eric, a service member of the US Air Force, received orders in July to attend training at Travis AFB in California.  As my husband grew up in the area near base, our family took the opportunity to join him on the trip to visit with family members before school started back for our kids and for me, a third-grade teacher.  During the second night in California, those opportunities came to an abrupt halt the moment a person, driving under the influence of alcohol, decided to drive westward on an east-bound highway.  This ultimately caused a traumatic head-on collision in a vehicle with my entire family, resulting in what not only was the end of our vacation time in California, but also what has seemed like the end of life as we knew it.

Our oldest Kieran is big into soccer and an exceptional goal keeper, if I do say so myself. Knowing that, you can imagine the excitement in watching the US Men’s Soccer team from home on tv realizing they were not only advancing to the final game for the Gold Cup but also that they would be playing in California just 45 minutes away from the base we were staying on. We, of course got tickets and made it a family affair to drive over to Levi’s Stadium after spending the day with Great Grandma and even meeting up with some cousins. It was our youngest, Kirie’s first professional game and we all left in our red, white, and blue especially happy with the US winning the Gold Cup! Almost back safe and sound with only being less than two miles away from Travis Air Force Base, where we were staying, we were instead left in a state of shock on the side of the highway.
At impact, both of our children awoke with screams of fear and cries of pain and shock. Kirie, having just turned 5, cried in fear and pain as blood trickled out of her mouth due to biting down on her tongue.  Kieran, 13, wailed with pain in his legs, where he seemed to have locked up and violently was jerked left, since the impact occurred on his right side.  My husband, Eric was shot with shards of glass and debris and had open wounds on both legs.  They all suffered extreme soreness, bad bruises, along with neck and back pain from safety belts and seats. These initial injuries for them were only to be the beginning for continued pain-both mental and physical to come.  The worst however, of the trauma and injuries lay primarily with me as we were hit head on predominantly on the passenger side with the driver continuing to plow through the right side of the car (mostly my door), busting out the passenger window and striking the right side of my body.
After impact the first several minutes seemed like forever.  We could not see anything outside the vehicle as all the airbags deployed including the airbag curtains which draped the windows, inhibiting our outside view.  We could hear vehicles passing us in hopes that we were not subject to another collision since we were unaware of our position on the road.  My husband frantically tried his best to assess the situation with the children trying to help calm them down.  He then looked to me for assurance of well-being.  He describes it as glass and blood everywhere.  There was glass in my hair, in my eyes and all over my face.  All the cuts on my face bled all over into my mouth and when I spoke, I spat blood and glass.  My face looked swollen as it throbbed, and my vision was obstructed from swollen eyes and a broken nose.  I had also told him that I could not move my arm and I had extreme pain coming from my wrist.  He noticed my right wrist was mangled and when I lifted my right arm with my left hand, he noticed the laceration of my triceps and elbow with protruding torn ligaments and possible bone exposed. He later explained my arm as looking like it had been ripped apart with the skin dangling and being severed and cut right down to the bone of my elbow. As blood poured into my mouth and out of my arm onto my torso area, the scene left us all in fear of what was to come of me if help didn’t arrive soon.  Eric was in such shock that he was having a difficult time trying to dial 911. He also could not bring himself to lift my shirt to assess my injuries as he and I both feared that I was bleeding internally based on the blood covering my mid-section and coming out of my mouth. I cannot accurately put into words the feeling of fear and death that was upon me in that car.  My initial fears were that for my children. As a mother, I was facing the worst feeling in the world, the feeling that my children were in danger, hurt, and were at risk of death.  The pain from that thought alone was far greater than any of the physical injuries I felt at the time.  After I knew my family could all move and speak, my next feeling was that again of a mother and the responsibility and need to protect my kids. All I was then worried about was preserving them from additional danger or fear of what was and could be to come. The car was filled with many cries, screams, and “I love yous” as again, we sat for what felt like forever for us to be rescued.   Finally, after being physically unable to make his hands work to pull out his phone, Eric dialed 911 and after several attempts, got through.  Meanwhile, a nearby resident claiming to also be an EMT approached the car, and helped assess the situation. She asked to examine any other injuries and had said that the ambulance was on the way. She thankfully could lift my shirt and confirm that the blood was coming from my arm and not abdomen.  She also confirmed that the driver was over in the median in a tree as I was very worried that she had kept going and could possibly hit and hurt someone else. Finally, help arrived and the moments following seemed to pass much quicker becoming a bit of a blur.  While fear seemed to reign over our situation, I will never forget the feeling of an indescribable peace that literally felt like it had washed over our circumstances. I was filled with peace and thanksgiving first unto God for preserving our lives but then to the others that arrived and quickly got to work helping to save us. I will also never forget that feeling of relieve knowing that first my husband and children were going to live and then knowing that my injuries were unlikely to result in death either.  I was unfortunately though, faced with yet another feeling of fear after finally seeing my arm for myself and the look on the EMT’s face, feeling that I may end up losing my arm.
After arriving at the hospital, the hospital staff began working immediately on my injuries. My right arm, was crushed, mutilated and deformed in both the wrist and elbow, requiring surgery.  The pre-operation diagnosis concluded that my wrist had been broken in several places and unfortunately right in the actual joint requiring a metal plate, wires and screws to repair and secure the bones. My elbow area was described by the doctor as if all the skin, ligaments and muscle in the area had been grated down (almost like a cheese grater) to the bone, dismembering the elbow by shaving off the tip. I waited several more hours in extreme pain for surgery.  After 5 hours in surgery, I was to be kept in the hospital on IV antibiotics for 3 days as I was at risk for bone infection. My post operation notes and instructions revealed that my wrist was repaired successfully. The elbow however, has brought the most unexpected difficultly as the surgeon explained that he “did the best he could with what he had to work with”.  Thankfully I did not have to have a skin graft but, so much skin, tissue, ligaments, and muscle were lost that the area had to be cleaned out (leaving shards of glass that are still currently in my arm) and what was left of the skin was rebuilt, stretched together, and sutured. Regaining movement and mobility by breaking through all the scar tissue has been the most painful experience of my life.  We received lots of great care and information thankfully while in the hospital from doctors, nurses and surgeons. However, we had no idea how much additional information, bad news, set-backs, pain, therapy, stress, and frustration was to come with not only me who obviously had the worst of it all but also for my kids and husband in the days and weeks to come.  Just being in the hospital alone for those 3 days caused additional stress of being separated still, from my family after such a traumatic experience as well as us not being able to travel back home to Florida. All I wanted was to get out of the hospital to be with my family and to be home, at least that is what I thought until the day I was actually released. Hours after being told I could leave, the severe anxiety began.  Anxiety that came from the thought of getting back in a car overtook me, causing me physical pain in my chest, and inhibiting my ability to breathe. I was then diagnosed in the hospital with acute anxiety disorder and later with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Since this traumatic experience, there is still much of our lives that are yet to be back to normal. I’ve even had to undergo two other surgeries, one just last month and I am still working through pain and setbacks to rehabilitate both my arm and my mental state. I will say, despite the suffering, literally from the time we were struck head on, up until this very moment, our God has shown up BIG to carry us through. Again, please be encouraged that there are many stories to come that I promise you, I could not even make up. So many irreversible God moments have occurred that I can’t help but want to share. Suffering sucks. Pain sucks. This wreck sucked. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I’d ever say I am glad it happened but I will say, I wouldn’t want anything to reverse the assurance of my Father, the God of all grace, as Peter says it in 1 Peter 5:10 that has established, strengthened, and settled me after and through my suffering.